Thursday, 13 February 2014

Perseverance

*Cries*
Another point in life where I felt like crying and shouting, 'I dont wanna be in this situation/position lah!'

                                                                XXXX

Seriously, little things in life stress me up. Esp when I realise that on my own, I will not be able to balance the tasks on my hands and produce a near perfect result.
I don't know why am I like that.
Why can't I just buat-buat selamba, and not care. Whatever happens, happens lah.
Psst..I'm pretty sure lots of people in this world ( if not Malaysia) are like that.
But I cannot lah!

So I was learning this new song,"The Gospel was Promised" by Sovereign Grace for CF's worship tomorrow.
And then I listened and listened and listened and listened and listened and listened......yea, you get it.

And then I started thinking about next week's worship.Like, who's gonna be the worship leader?
Coz I'm the one who's supposed to arrange the worship schedule, and trust me, on a human human side of me, it's easier for me to read ten law books(really thick ones) than to ask , invite them(ultra-politely) or to persuade them to worhsip lead. I repeat, THAN TO PERSUADE MY FRIENDS TO WORSHIP LEAD.
=.=
So susah one lah.
All sort of reasons everytime i approach them: Got class lah, cannot sing lah, choose someone else lah.bla bla bla
And then I got angry thinking about my seemingly huge task..
Yeah that's me.
hahahaha.yes lah I know I get angry at almost every and anything okay.
And I know it's not an elephant-like huge task.It's just to get people to lead worship lah for goodness sake.
But still, I really dont know why lah, WHY??? why me lah.go get someone else to do this schedule lah.Save me a lot of mafan.





And then I'm reminded that I am doing this for God.
For my God. So it's not for the CF, it's not for me, nor for anyone else.
I don't win applause from man, but from God.
And I will work at it with ALL my heart. Colossians 3:23



Oklah, at least now got reason and purpose as to why I'm doing this. Therefore, I will persevere and not complain.
*Victory!*







::

Saturday, 8 February 2014

At The Cross


At the Cross
Lord You've searched me 
You know my way 
Even when I fail You 
I know You love me 

Your holy presence 
Surrounding me 
In every season 
I know You love me 
I know You love me 

At the cross I bow my knee 
Where Your blood was shed for me 
There's no greater love than this 
You have overcome the grave 
Your glory fills the highest place 
What can separate me now 

You go before me 
You shield my way 
Your hand upholds me 
I know You love me 

You tore the veil 
You made a way 
When You said that it is done 

And when the earth fades 
Falls from my eyes 
And You stand before me 
I know You love me 
I know You love me




                                                                    XXXX



I once went to a church, and was told to not sing Contemporary Christian Music.
Well, for reasons which I can understand, together with the good intentions behind it.
And I thought about it, and decided to not fight nor argue about it, because it isn't gonna make the situation better.And I might end up getting confused.
Some things need not be fought over. In cases like these, both parties are earnestly trying to decipher what the Lord wants, each trying their best to please Him, whatever the words they sing.
Whether it comes from Psalms, or the Proverbs or anywhere else.
I decided the best thing I could do now is to not argue about these trivial things because we have a greater mission to accomplish, that is to LOVE one another.
Hate the brokenness and the hurt after a dispute.Always seem to form cracks to our relationship. =(


Sunday, 12 January 2014

Christian Woman, Pursue Christ Alone

source: Christian Woman, Pursue Christ Alone by Lauren Minor.

Disclaimer: Of course this article is not by me, Michele. I'm not that smart.HAHA But I'm posting it here on my personal blog,so that I can be reminded of my ultimate focus, that is, in Christ alone. Bearing in mind that I might get sidetracked of the things I want to do, feel like doing or thought of doing in the long run, this article will serve as a good reminder, I hope.=)





As a teenager and young college student, my life was very much consumed with people giving me advice about relationships.  


I didn’t want to be focused on finding a Christian guy to ‘pursue me’, but I was sent a message that I should be. The more women told me, “God will bring you a man if that’s your desire,” the harder it was to set my mind on things above, not on earthly things.

Waiting on a man gives our faith a very “me-centered” focus. All of a sudden it’s about God providing ME with a relationship…God providing ME with a happily ever after. And while He is fully capable of providing both of these things, it is not the picture of submission to Him we see in Scripture, nor is it the goal of our faith. 

The pressures of an ideal relationship and potential marriage cause girls to make lists of qualities they want in a guy (I’ve been guilty of this). Because apparently the God who created us, who is “intimately acquainted with all we do” (Psalm 139:3), needs us to give Him a little reminder sometimes of what we’re attracted to. And as if that isn’t bad enough, girls pray over their lists…instead of spending time praying for those who don’t know their Savior. I could be mis-interpreting Christian books I’ve read, but I’m pretty sure one of them encouraged me to do this.  When did Christianity become about ME?

Our purpose is all about HIM. Allow Him to use you in whatever way you can be the most fruitful in your fleeting time here on earth. Trust me (no, trust Him), He knows the desires of your heart. But our utmost desire should be to serve Him, not for Him to serve us. We were created to glorify God, make much of His name, and enjoy a personal relationship with Him. 

Our calling given in Scripture is to GO and make disciples. Over and over we’re told to share the love that we’ve received with those who don’t know of the hope we profess. We’re also told that God will equip us with all we need to accomplish His purpose here on earth. Yet a message is being sent to young women and youth saying, “Don’t WORRY girls…God will show you who your husband is going to be. Wait on God for him.” And yes, of course we are called to wait on the Lord, but specifically waiting for a GUY is different. 

If we trust in the Lord and have full assurance in His ability to provide, then we should GO and make disciples, knowing that if we will be the most fruitful in a relationship leading to marriage then He will make that clear. And if we are to be single our whole lives because we can accomplish His purpose more effectively that way, then that is what we are to do.

Waiting on the Lord does not mean waiting for Him to provide us with OUR desires. It means being faithful to our calling in Scripture and allowing Him to provide the rest. Christian girls need to hear a new message. Our God is so much bigger than the little genie we like to make Him sometimes. We like to think of Him as someone we can go to when we need a favor or need assurance that someday something will happen. This is so far from our purpose.

Be obedient to His purpose for your life, and He will equip you with all you need in doing so. He wants us to lead fulfilled lives. He wants what’s best for us…and that’s HIM.  The most loving thing He will do is move us to a place where we cherish Him more than anything else. So why are we still chasing worldly things? Sometimes our desires reflect a worship of the created over the creator. 

We cannot seek our highest satisfaction in anything of this world. 

It’s destructive to the human soul to take a created thing and make it an ultimate thing. I think a better line than “Do you trust God with the pen of your love story?” would be “Do you trust God with the pen of your life? Will you be completely fulfilled in your love relationship with HIM and allow Him to decide what comes next?”

“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:31-33)

We don't delight ourselves in the Lord in order to get something else, just like we don't seek first the kingdom to then gain something in return. We have an eternal hope and joy, so why settle for a temporary one?

As a wife I’m held to the same call I was before: glorify God and make much of His name.I have been given a partner in this journey, but my aim and ultimate goal remains the same. I realize my ultimate satisfaction can be found in Christ alone. As a wife, I finally see the importance of girls pursuing Christ in their singleness, so that they can be intimately acquainted with Him in their marriages as well. 

Marriage is the most amazing thing I’ve ever known because I get to see my husband how he is behind closed doors when no one is watching. I see him cry over lost people, find him buried in our closet praying, and hear him asking God every day to make him into a more Godly man. I see his PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with Jesus, and I want it. I want to know God more because of how Austin knows Him.We must know how to individually pursue Jesus now, so that we’re still pursuing Him in our future.

SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Lord I pray that you would be our utmost desire. More of You, a walk with You daily, a higher satisfaction in You... 

Amen. 

Monday, 9 December 2013

The Reason Why I'm doing these..

As I plan and prepare for the BACChristmas Party, I have to remind myself,over and over again, that I should not complain.
Despite the fact that college has never called my number so many times over the span of one week, and I've never so faithfully checked and replied almost every post in our Facebook group.
And that I've never used WhatsApp so much in my life.
I just didn't like that I had to check and lias with everyone. Going early to meet and discuss the event with the management team, pasting posters all over, listening to rude comments, and putting up a brave front to invite the staff from college.Like, personally going around and inviting them.
(Fortunate to have a friend doing it with me, else my legs might have turned jelly-o once I step into staffroom)


 So I have to remind myself, that I'm not doing this for the CF, the college, or my friends.I'm doing it for God. My focus is on God and God alone. ;)

Sunday, 8 December 2013

7 lies about Christianity, which Christians believe.

I find this article interesting, and decided to imprint it in my blog for future purpose.Of course, i take no credit,and it's taken from http://sojo.net/blogs/2013/12/03/seven-lies-about-christianity-which-christians-believe


Christianity is great, but not everything we say or believe about it is necessarily true. Here are the most common stereotypes that Christians have about Christianity that are wrong:
You’re Always Happy:There’s an unhealthy expectation within many faith communities that we’re always supposed to be joyful, as if being anything other than a smiling, peaceful, and jolly spiritual cheerleader is detrimental to Christianity.
“Being a good witness” is often the Christian way of saying, “act the part.” But while contentment and happiness is a spiritual virtue, it should never come at the expense of honesty, transparency, and truthfulness. We shouldn’t pretend to be happy and use the facade of joy as an evangelism tool. 
God desires reconciliation and renewal, and this often means confronting broken relationships and dealing with sin within our lives. Asking for forgiveness, admitting addiction, confronting abuse, seeking justice, requesting help, and serving others often makes you the opposite of happy — and that’s OK.
There’s a season for everything, and some of life’s most important, loving, and holy moments are times of trial, sorrow, and sadness — so let’s stop trying to turn Christianity into something it was never meant to be. 
Your Problems Will Disappear: Some people use Christianity as a form of escapism, a crutch, and a way to avoid the pain, suffering, and struggles of life. But at the center of Jesus’ life and teaching is (again) the concept of truth. Christianity isn’t about ignoring reality but embracing it, engaging the real world and all the baggage that comes with it.
In many ways, following Jesus causes us to accept — and confront — the facts, whether they are good or bad. We shouldn’t hide or pretend or ignore difficulties, but address them.  
A faith in Christ requires honesty and bravery, and it demands sacrifice, service, and heartbreak. The New Testament shows us that Jesus’ disciples faced even more problems when they decided to follow him: persecution, poverty, and ultimately martyrdom.
No, our problems won’t disappear, but a relationship with God is worth the accompanying struggles that may come with it.
You’ll Be “Blessed”:  If you’re seeking wealth, prosperity, comfort, and security, Christianity isn’t the place to go. 
Contrary to our consumer tendencies, Jesus’ teachings continually instruct believers to sacrifice and be willing to give everything away for the sake of loving others. The disciples of Jesus lived a dangerous and hard life that continually relied on the hospitality and generosity of others. They often ended up in jail or were even killed because of their faith. 
Some of the most holy and righteous people I know have lives that are extremely rough and filled with all sorts of trouble. Disease, sickness, poverty, crime, abuse, and a litany of other horrible things happen to good people — even Christians who passionately love God. 
Does this mean that they don’t trust God enough or aren’t being good Christians? No! Our faith isn’t a pathway toward gaining an array of physical, financial, or social blessings — it’s not a formula for worldly success, so let’s stop treating it like one.
Missions and Ministry Is Fun and Rewarding: Don’t get me wrong, it often is rewarding, but from the time we’re in Sunday school throughout high school and college, and even as adults, we’re told that “missions” and “ministry” and “evangelism” is fun, exciting, and rewarding. We go on exotic mission trips, work at car washes to raise money for local charities, and spend a day volunteering at the homeless shelter. Most of us then have the luxury of going home, back to our “regular” lives.
Missions and ministry is hard work. There’s a reason the burnout rate is absurdly high for people whose primary vocation is ministry-related. Pastors and missionaries are considered high-risk candidates within the medical community because of their susceptibility to addiction, stress, and abuse. It’s not an easy life.
Being a full-time missionary and minister requires constant service, with very little recognition and plenty of conflict. Combine this with long hours, low pay, and hardly any respectability, and it’s an existence that few can handle. 
But within our churches and Christian institutions, we glorify the idea of serving others without presenting an accurate or truthful picture of what it really looks like or requires from us. Instead of telling the horror stories of relational conflict, emotional pain, and physical turmoil, we’re fed stories of revival, spiritual renewal, and miraculous wonders. That’s great, but in many cases it gives us false expectations of what ministry honestly looks like.
We need to start portraying ministry accurately instead of marketing it as some sort of superficial fun-filled adventure. And for those already within ministry, we need to give them all the support and encouragement they deserve.
All Your Questions Will Be Answered: Christianity is full of doubt, uncertainty, nuance, and complexity. There are very few clear answers, and the ones that exist are debated among hundreds of theologians. For those seeking resolutions to life’s deepest questions and mysteries, Christianity will provide some clarity, but ultimately it leaves much to the imagination.
As believers, we need to start accepting the fact that we don’t know everything. When we try to turn the Bible into a set of answers to all of the world’s challenges and questions, we end up manipulating the message of Christ and forming it into our own agendas just to appease our curiosity or quell the objections of others.
The Christian Community Is Great: Many people leave the Christian faith not because they hate Jesus, but because they hate the people who represent him. Christians hurt people. They fight, argue, yell, scream, and do horrible things. 
Nobody knows this better than Christians themselves, who routinely suffer through denominational splits, church infighting, community gossip, and an avalanche of interpersonal conflicts.
Christians aren’t better than anyone else. The divorce rates, crime rates, and other “moral” comparative data show little difference between them and the rest of the world. So let’s stop pretending Christians have the market corner on what’s right and wrong. 
We need to start listening and talking with others instead of self-righteously judging and convicting others. There’s a reason why you can’t look across a mall and point out who’s a Christian and who isn’t — because there’s no noticeable difference.
It Makes You Better Than Others:This is the hardest truth for Christians to swallow, that they aren’t any better than anyone else. In fact, Jesus continually tried to instill the virtues of humility and humbleness throughout his ministry, repeatedly trying to teach his followers that everyone was loved by God, regardless of social, financial, or spiritual status.
When we see ourselves as superior, we become like the Pharisees, who craved power and control and authority. But God, the ruler of the world, made himself nothing, and died on a cross for the sake of others — for the sake of those who were in the process of murdering him! Are we willing to become nothing for the sake of others, even for those we dislike? 
The problem with romanticizing Christianity is that we turn our faith into a product, using various selling points to make it look more attractive. It’s not that the above headlines are entirely false, it’s just that Christians publicize them as being entirely true. This creates false expectations and idols, and inevitably leads to disappointment and sense of failure.
Instead of promoting Christianity as a set of benefits, we need to promote Christ. In the end, when everything else fails and falls short, Jesus will remain faithful through it all. We can trust him above any form of religion we attempt to turn Christianity into.
Stephen Mattson has contributed for Relevant Magazine and the Burnside Writer's Collective, and studied Youth Ministry at the Moody Bible Institute. He is now on staff at Northwestern College in St. Paul, Minn. Follow him on Twitter @mikta.
Photo: Dennis Kuvaev/Shutterstock

Friday, 6 December 2013

Ending 2013, 20 going on 21

I think it's sad.That I'm gonna be 21 soon.
It's too old.I wanna stay as young as possible. Okay, not really as young as possible, but maybe stay 19, or 20, for another two years or more.
Growing up means, well, growing older, (supposedly) wiser.
I mean, of course, I wanna grow wiser, I just don't like that age is a factor.
How nice, if it really does happen, if i could stay 20 for another year.Really, time passes too fast.
Can't grasp it, can't make it stay, can't make it wait for me.
The last entry made on my diary was 2nd December13, and today when I write my next entry, it's 6th.
SIXTH!!!The first week of December gone.
Really, sometimes, I wished I could pray things like: God, please just slow down the time. Or, turn back the clock.
I wanna enjoy every moment, every second of my life.
I still believe life is beautiful, made for us to treasure every moment that comes with it.


But sometimes, looking at the pile of books, articles, essays and notes waiting for me to at the very least, flip the pages, makes me feel so *ugh.
Like why, why can't I just sit down, get a cup of hot chocolate, cross my legs on the table, and savor them, like how I used to do with novels. I miss those moments.
Of reading and absorbing every word in Enid Blyton's series.
Imagining the pixies running around with mushrooms as their umbrellas, of the wishing chair, of queer little Moonface, of the Enchanted Woods.
Just really sad. How I miss those times.
Rather than rushing through my textbooks, the subject guides, case judgements, I really want to sit down and enjoy them.=(

Friday, 8 November 2013

#Rant Post

You know, I never really get to find out why do people always say, 'Reading law' instead of 'Studying Law'.
I think the word 'studying' requires a higher standard of input into the brain than mere 'reading'.
Like when I read something related to law, there is a need to analyse and evaluate.
Sigh.
I think I actually like doing that-connecting pictures, diagrams, words. If not for the time limit, I would enjoy them all .
Whatever it is, sometimes, when I'm in my right state of mind, then I'll tell myself that I've gotta enjoy this process.No matter that. Since I'm already in here, in this mess.  Road to success.Bwahhahaha..Optimistic.



*cross fingers*  I hope my Samsung phone is okay, and in one-piece, when it comes back to me.
Don't ask me why I bought a Samsung.I'm pretty sure i made it clear to everyone that I've set my eyes on a Lenovo s890.
Then , I walked into Summit, determined to buy just that, and the salesperson was like 'Why don't you get HuaWei, the best brand in China?Lenovo is also made in China you know bla bla bla.'
And then they were promoting s3, which is also on sale.
And then.......after much walking and discussion, and surveying, and talking, and looking at phones of different models,I decided to just go back and BUY THE PHONE LAH.
But it wasn't a Lenovo cause the salesperson does not sell screen protector for the model I wanted.
He wanted to charge me RM100 for the cover.=.=
Which I did'nt buy because I feel cheated.
So I bought the s3.

And Then, I discovered (when i reached home), that the camera was faulty.=.=
And I discovered, a tad too late, that stupid SAMSUNG doesnt do a one to one exchange.They would only repair it.
I mean it's like so unfair, it was their negligence in manufacturing a faulty product and I can't exchange for a new phone.It isn't even like I got it as a gift,  I bought it with MONEY.
Just so pissed off the entire day.
Sigh, whatever la, repair pun repair la.
No use stressing and being angry liao right?
 I just need to complain here.
I don't understand why is it I always kena for buying faulty electronic stuff.=(