Today's Thoughts

I shall just share here, from what learn in Girlfriends in God, a devotion that I now follow.
In a way, Girlfriends in God connects the real world to God's word.
And it has got that girl element in there, even the name of the devotion suggests it.
I'm a feminist, what to do;-)
Anyway, this is more of a reminder for myself than for you.
So that when I look back, I know the assurances God has sent me all along the way.=)

***

So many times in my life, when I got frustrated with things surrounding me.
I get so stressed up, everyone around me feels it.It's like I'm radiating stress.
I know right, dahlah takbagus, simpan untuk diri sendiri cukuplah kan, tapi nak radiate pulak.
What to do, I'm always like that.
When I can't see the road in front of me, because my path is so heaped with mountains and mountains of current circumstances, I forget that God has a beautiful plan in stored for me behind these ginormous mountains.It's like udang sebalik kuey teow!Aha!

But Isaiah tells us something else,
His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts higher than our thoughts,(Isaiah 55:9)

I know right, how many times have you read this verse?But have you really sat down and ponder what does it even mean to you?
How does it even apply to your life?

I still remember when I finished my primary school and was about to start secondary school.
And the person in charge actually sent me to the 'worst' school in town!
I was hoping for the better one, in my neighbourhood.
I mean, everybody knows that there is this better school and the not so good school in Bandar Kinrara.
Comon, it's a fact.Everyone knows.
So all auntys actually try their best to persuade the headmistress to send their kids to the better school.
My mother followed suit, she even went to the Kementerian Pendidikan Bahagian Selangor(or some fancy name like that) to transfer me to the 'better' one.
GUESS WHAT?
I had good results, my mother went to the highest authority, and even asked a friend, who works in the department to help me transfer, and yet, my transfer-ship is not allowed.
This means, I'm stuck in the 'suckiest' school ever.
And I couldn't stop complaining for all the years I was there!

'But God turns pain into purpose, the misery into ministry, and devastation into anointed messages of hope and restoration.'

Ok, I'm not sure if my life has been a ministry to the others or has brought hope and joy to others, 
But one thing's for sure, after four years of studying in that school, the very fifth year, I was elected as the Head Prefect.
Now,not to brag or anything, but there.
You know how important it is right, to have something of value in your co-curricular activities cert.
And that's the highest point a student could get their whole life in a secondary school.
I know it's God's plan, because, it's the first time I think in history of that school that they elect a girl as HP, and a fair skinned one too!
I'm not being racist or anything like that.It's just a fact.
And God gave me a partner to share in my responsibilities as a HP.
It's therefore also the first that they have two HP working together.
So you see, God do have plans to plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.(Jer 29 :11)

And then later, when I realise how God has planned and put all these in place, and how I was blinded by current waves that surrounds my little boat, I felt guilty.
Like how stupid I was, after all the years of learning to trust God, of placing my faith in God, of all the verses that I read and memorised(well, it's actually for the competition in sunday school, nevertheless, i did memorise okay!) 
yeah you get the point.
After all that, and I still fail to obey His words, to trust Him.
To focus on Him.
Funny how we humans always repeat the same mistakes eh?

But Sharon Jaynes says it best
'Glory moments in difficult times are not dependent on our circumstances, but on our focus. Focus on the difficulty and God is difficult to see. Focus on God and glory seeps through the broken places. Difficulties become the bass notes of our life’s song, adding a depth and beauty not found in a life that hovers about middle C.'

Have you ever felt that the earth just comes crumbling and crushing down in front of your eyes, yet later you realized it was all in God’s perfect plan and timing for your own good?

Well, when I was rejected by all scholarships that I applied after my SPM, I kinda got angry with God too.

I was demanding Him, as to why He has not allow me at least one scholarship from the Goverment.

But I now know I don't have the right to question my God like that, my God who created the earth and me, my God who has my future planned perfectly in His hands.

So I'm still kinda struggling in my law studies now, but I'm gonna keep my eyes open for the biggest miracle that he has in stored for me, for my years in Brickfields, or my life as a lawyer later.=)

So I'm gonna end with this little prayer that I copied from the devotion which I find was helpful.

Lord, I’ll admit that sometimes I don’t like how the story of my life is going. There are some chapters I would love to go back and edit. But the reality is, You use it all. Even fairy tales have villains, darks forests, and big bad wolves. But I know, oh I know, how my story ends. “And she lived happily in the hereafter with the Prince of Peace.” I thank You for the storyline that gets me there.
In Jesus’ Name,amen.