Helpless

I just feel frustrated.
This emotion, of feeling like 'I just wanna lie down and do nothing' is bugging me again.
Of course, I've never really done it.
Life will just have to go on right?


But today is another one of those days, where I feel like sleeping through it.
Of course, the flu and the never ending running nose has got a part to play in it too.
It just adds on to the 'ARGHHHHH!'*scream* feeling,you know.
You just feel like screaming your hearts out!
And just let everything go.







Sigh.I know too well.
All the 'to-do'.It's just I can't do it, really.I can't do it, now.
*ahhhhhhhhh!*

He loves me, just because

I'm excited.
I think I may have found the answer.
That I don't need to do this and that in exchange for His help.
I don't need to earn His approval.
He already loves me, just the way I am.
I didn't need to fulfill everything on my 'to-do list' to be a Christian, to get Him to respond.
It's He who initiated this, it's He who reached out to me.
All I need to do was to respond.To love Him back, for His love for me.
I know my love will not measure up to His.
But that's what I can do.I can love Him for being God, and trust Him to do it.
The difference is this, it is not that He will do it.It is that He is doing it, already.
He is already helping me, guiding me, staying near to me.
When I say 'Lord, help to shift my eyes onto You'
It's affirmative of the fact that He is already doing it, therefore, help me realise it, help me to trust You now.
It's not of focusing on Him first, then expecting Him to let everything run smoothly.
It's the opposite.It's where everything is already in His hands, I just need to be rest assured of that.

I think it helps me to do the 'focus on God' thing, it is made easier.*cheers*
YESH!

Collateral Damage

Collateral damage can take place within our family when we've been hurt by something or someone else, no matter how long ago.

Because a parent made you feel unworthy of love, you lash out when your child doesn't eat the meal you lovingly prepared.

Because your trust was shattered by another, your loyal husband pays the price as his faithfulness is questioned again and again.

Because of negative words poured over your tender heart, you struggle to believe your value to God.

*Does it sound familiar to you?*

Collateral damage. All of it.

But, read this.

The fact that a child didn't eat a meal so lovingly prepared has nothing to do with a woman's value; it's just one of the many mom-things we get to tackle.

The fact that your trust was shattered by another just makes the gift of a loyal husband that much more sweet.

The fact that negative words were poured over your tender heart means the thousands of words etched in Scripture are that much more powerful because they redefine you, as seen and loved by your Heavenly Father.

God can turn the bad into good.In fact, He not only 'can', but He will.He intends for all good to come out of it, out of all the misery and devastation.Hold on to the race, you have not reach the end nor seen the bigger picture yet.

Dear Jesus, before today I pointed out the cracks, those superficial acts and behaviors that I've tried to patch over. But today I hold up my heart. You see the foundation of my brokenness. Thank You for binding up my wounds, for healing, and for my new journey to wholeness. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

(adapted from Encouragement For Today Devotions, by Suzie Eller)

Priorities

My devotion today:

"Now as they went on their way, He entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home” (Luke 10:38, NIV)


How many times in your life have you felt tired of running?
I don't mean to literally 'run'.
But run, as in running through your daily life, rushing to complete tasks and assignments.
Running against time.
One of my girlfriend had her blog named 'Running Against Time'.
How true that statement is.

But today, I realize, it is only true because my priorities aren't right.
In racing alongside the world standards and being caught up in the whirlwind of things-to-do, things-not-done, and deadlines! I  felt tired.
Tired of this concept, tired that I never had the time to rest, tired of all the burden weighted on me, tired of not having enough time, tired that 'time flies too fast for me to catch up with'

Amidst the race to being the 'all rounder' student, amidst the pressure that exams are building upon me, I made some wrong 'priorities'.
Placing my eyes only on the exam, and studies, I totally lose out on the bigger picture.
*Focus on God, focus on God!!!*
*Make time for God!*


I am slowly picking up the left behinds of my relationship with God.
Or rather, God finds me again, in the crowded-ness of my life.
I'm starting, afresh, anew in Him.
I am grateful that I am given a new chance everyday.
Everyday I yearn to be better.
He acknowledges that I am weak..
I know halfway down the road I might go off-track again.*the truth*
When I feel fed up with life, and come running back to Him, crying and asking for forgiveness for the 'all too well known mistakes' in my life, I know He will forgive me again and again.
Waiting patiently for me, reminding me turn back to Him.
I am not taking it for granted.
I am grateful for the chance,  of the blood shed on the cross for me.
I am thankful that He never gives up on me.
Everyday is a new covenant with Him, everyday I shall invite Him into my life.
Just like Martha, looking forward to His presence and running into His embrace.


Father, 
Help me to learn how to set my priorities in life, and put You first in everything.I want my life to reflect Your plans for me.Without You, I am nothing.I live a life of purpose.I commit every single day into Your hands, guide me as I continue to seek Your direction and wisdom.Thank you for Your unending love for me.
I love you, Lord.
Amen.

The World Racers

God is good, all the time.

All the time, God is good.

I am blessed.

I feel blessed.

God is so good to me.I thank Him even now as I sit here typing into this blog that I suspect anyone ever reads.

My Brickfields College Christian Fellowship has been a blessing.

It's wonderful to have people who are on fire, and burning, with passion for God.

Hanging out with these people motivates you to do better in your walk with God too.

And I love the 'invisible' bond that I feel when I'm there, spending time together, seeking God and resting in His presence.

                                                        *********

Today we had the world racers visit our fellowship.

Well, just briefly, if you don't know who the world racers are, they're a group of, I like to call 'youngsters' *laughs* who goes on this program where they visit 11 countries in 11 months and all the while ministering to people as God leads them.

So basically they came up front to share about their life experiences with God

 yada yada.

I'm sorry but I wanna get to the point, something which I really would like to save here for my future self to see, and anyone else who stumbles upon this page.

In one of the sharing sessions, I sat down with this awesome girl, Brandi, who shared about her life stories with me.

She just starts with how everyone else in her team says' Oh I hear God, I hear God'

And how she hears nothing,absolutely nothing!*laughs*

*So totally me!*

And she continues on with how God just worked in her one day when she sat down in silence and wait upon the Lord.

As God started pouring out all her past hurts and reminds her of the people she need to forgive in her life.

And all the brokenness and the hurt that she has to lift up to the Lord, and to just forgive and forget.

Which God later guided her in the "forgiving process", and now she has found so much freedom in God.

'So much, just so much.'She repeats..

Now, she hears Him, the  path and the communication link to God has been cleared.

She can HEAR GOD!!!

*wow I find I'm quite good at narrating.laughs*

You can read more about her ordeal here 'He's Not Finished with Me Yet" 

Back to the main point.

I also want to hear God, and I also know why I can't hear.

'When you don't forgive, the gates of heaven are shut tight'

Sigh.

Then I realise I should do this too.

I should start to just sit down and wait in silence and ask God to point out the specific people and events in my life that I have to forgive, and forget.

And to just pour out and surrender all the hurt, the brokenness that I might find freedom in Him, just like Brandi did.

And that I should live a life free of anything that is holding me back from having a wholesome relationship with my Father in Heaven.

So much to do, eh?

I find myself a little scared of the process, and a little weak.

Like, am I able to do this?

But then again, I'm reminded that if God chooses for me to do this, then He will see me through.

He will be with me.I will win the battle, through Him.

And we will,( My Father and I) will win this battle and come out stronger than before.

So Dear Father, do you hear me?

We are going to start this process.So lead me, guide me, draw me close to You each day I pray.

On a side note, this song, that we sang today in the worship has been playing in my mind again and again.Gonna share it here ;)

"I Will Follow"

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my sight
High above my life
I will trust in you alone (trust in you alone)

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you, yeah
I will follow you, yeah

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve, I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you, yeah

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there's joy, unending joy
And I will follow

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve, I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve, I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you, yeah
I will follow you, yeah
I will follow you, yeah
I will follow you, yeah

Shortsy #2

So far my walk with God has been inconsistent.
Again, I'm sharing it here.
I kinda feel like I'm very luo so, repeating grandmother's story.But what- to- do, memang I'm weak.
Like I want to do it,I just am not able to, yet.

So I wanna just post some little quotes here, extracted from all my past devotion.
In future when I scroll through all this again, I might be reminded of His love.

'When I lean on my own understanding, I feel shaky.Help me submit my questions to You, and to trust that You have everything under control.I have a choice when I don't get a satisfactory answer to why somehting happened.I can choose to allow frustration to grow into distrust, or to submit my need to know why to You.'


1 Corithians 10:13
¹³ No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Matthew 6: 19-21

¹⁹ “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

'Nothing happens to you except by the will of God, and yet beloved children curse it because they do not know it for what it is.'
Isaiah 55:9
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.'

Shortsy #1

If you ask, what is it that I find so attractive in other people, I'm gonna steal this one sentence from my daily devotion author.

'What I have found to be most attractive is a person’s God-blessed passion, their love for the Lord and how that is expressed through their actions.'